Andrew Weitzen posted on April 05, 2010 06:54
From an email going around
Dictionary for Women's Personal Ads
| 40-ish |
- |
49 |
| Adventurous |
- |
Slept with everyone |
| Athletic |
- |
No tits |
| Average looking |
- |
Ugly |
| Beautiful |
- |
Pathological liar |
| Contagious smile |
- |
Does a lot of pills |
| Emotionally secure |
- |
On medication |
| Feminist |
- |
Fat |
| Free spirit |
- |
Junkie |
| Friendship first |
- |
Former very friendly person |
| Fun |
- |
Annoying |
| New age |
- |
Body hair in the wrong places |
| Open-minded |
- |
Desperate |
| Outgoing |
- |
Loud and embarrassing |
| Passionate |
- |
Sloppy drunk |
| Professional |
- |
Bitch |
| Voluptuous |
- |
Very fat |
| Large frame |
- |
Hugely fat |
| Wants soul mate |
- |
Stalker |
Women's English
| 1. |
Yes |
= |
No |
| 2. |
No |
= |
Yes |
| 3. |
Maybe |
= |
No |
| 4. |
We need |
= |
I want |
| 5. |
I am sorry |
= |
You will be sorry |
| 6. |
We need to talk |
= |
You are in trouble |
| 7. |
Sure, go ahead |
= |
You better not |
| 8. |
Do what you want |
= |
You will pay for this later |
| 9. |
I am not upset |
= |
Of course I am upset, you moron! |
| 10. |
You are very attentive tonight |
= |
Is sex all you ever think about? |
Men's English
| 1. |
I am hungry |
= |
I am hungry |
| 2. |
I am sleepy |
= |
I am sleepy |
| 3. |
I am tired |
= |
I am tired |
| 4. |
Nice dress |
= |
Nice cleavage! |
| 5. |
I love you |
= |
Let's have sex now |
| 6. |
I am bored |
= |
Do you want to have sex? |
| 7. |
May I have this dance? |
= |
I would like to have sex with you |
| 8. |
Can I call you sometime? |
= |
I would like to have sex with you |
| 9. |
Do you want to go to a movie? |
= |
I would like to have sex with you |
| 10. |
Can I take you to dinner? |
= |
I would like to have sex with you |
| 11. |
Those shoes do not go with that outfit |
= |
I am gay |
And Finally ...
A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle.
For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features.
However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his backside.
Now Send this to a Man Who Needs a Laugh and a Woman with a Sense of Humor